Trust is just a word...

Trust is just a word.. But it still has meaning; trust is a just feeling, that's always worth achieving... Trust is a must Trust is trust It shows you're his... I can look beyond the window tonight, dark, rainy and still find a smile as I write, hard not too when I think of yesterday. I am tasked with noting down my thoughts in the public forum at his request, do I question why?...not really...because I trust.

 He knows how vulnerable it makes me feel, but maybe that is the point....*smiles softly* Yesterday he came to see me; we sit and talk awhile.. "No thudding or hitting things today" says he.. So he explains as he lays out the spreader bars, tells me that we will be using ice and I would of course remember the electric probes....I smile, nod....still in the realm of trusting him, still in the realm of new experience and that sometimes shaky ground when I whisper quietly..."I don't know Sir I have no frame of reference"

I must break off and be honest, because right about then I was thinking hmmm ice that sounds a little fluffy...
I shift a little in my chair tonight, the muscle aches and tenderness I still have are a stark reminder of how fluffy it was not....and I remember his smile as he taught me yet another lesson... You see trust is implicit, when you are bound ankle and wrist to spreader bars, laid bare..vulnerable as they start to spin the scene for you, that sweetest of states where pleasure is laced with pain, when dominance is the flavour that runs through it all...I catch flashes of his face and eyes, startling to me how they change when we play, how the planes and angles of his face seemingly sharpen when the sadist shines through..His eyes harder somehow.. ..How I shiver with apprehension and pleasure while he does as he pleases...

Maybe I digress I don't know, but I am lost after the pinwheel is applied till I want to cry....till the probe is jumping inside me till i can't say anything, just whimper and cry out.....till he slaps my face to bring me round, till I hear him say... "I will put some cream on, make it all better"...vaguely aware as he gets up to fetch the ice....I am not sure at what moment...I realised "making it better" was far from the point....

The heat started making me writhe....the molten burning as the deep heat worked its magic on my already tender intimate flesh...I can remember little by way of thoughts after that, pure sensation, pain, him...always him...the heat, the burning....the cold that by some trick almost seems to burn as much... 

*Takes a breath*

Seemed like moments when he finally released me, it had been more like an hour...never fails to amaze me how the passage of time seems to slow or stop during play...how you think that you are in your head the whole time...present....but you have slipped reality in truth...and only when you are guided back do you realise how much trust you put in them...how you rely on them to keep you safe...to walk that edge with you but never let you fall... I put my hand in his....my trust in him...knowing that for the sadistic there is also the sweet and by that I don't mean fluffy...not going to utter that thought again, not for a very long time....grins...

I have chosen to walk the edge with him, knowing that he will guide me, knowing that he will not let me fall...he instead will let me fly....proving trust is not just a word, not for us anyway...